Forever Hurt

Am I gonna feel this way forever. When I finally feel like I can cope, You creep into my thoughts and once again all I want to do is cry. I  try to move on and try to forget how much you mean to me. But not a day goes by that you don't enter my thoughts. I wonder what you are doing and who you are doing it with and then all of sudden the tears start to fall and I can't seem to make them stop. I gave you everything I had. And I gave up all for you. But in return you stopped loving me and found someone new. It was so easy for you to replace me when I can't think of going on with anyone but you. I can't find anyone that makes me feel the way you do. So am I to remain forever hurt?  I wake every morning and in the first few minutes the tears start to fall when  I realize I will never again see your face in the morning when I wake or be held in your arms  at night when we go to sleep and all of a sudden I am so cold. 

I Want You To Know

I want to yell at you for leaving me. I want to call you all the names in the book. I want to slam the door in your face so you know how it feels. I want to make you realize you were wrong. I want you to know how much pain I went through when you left, and how much I'm still going through. I want you to see how your leaving affected me. It's been awhile, but the pain hasn't stopped. Neither have the tears.

When you can't move on

When you lose someone, someone you love, when they break your heart. It's the hardest thing you could ever go through. And no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but then you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest, and you fall apart for the hundredth time.You feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all you heart even though you know you shouldn't. They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt. They stole your happiness. But yet, you still want them and only them. Other people come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don't want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on. Because you promised you never would. and even if they broke their promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that, you're terrified. Terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you're still thinking about the person who has left you completely broken. You don't want to miss them anymore. You don't want to love them anymore, but you know you always will.

A Broken Heart

I have given all my love to you, but what do I get in return? 
A broken heart.
I have given you my heart, and you  took advantage of it.
I gave you all the trust, but you misused it.
I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you proved everyone right.
I gave you my life and in the end you killed it.
I want to pull out my aching heart and tear it into pieces so I no longer love you.
I want to lose my memory so I no longer think of you.
I want to go so far that I no longer have to see your face. 
I want to cry, but I no longer have tears to fall down my sad, lonely face.
I want to sleep, but my dreams haunt me with you in them.
I can't seem to find a way out. What do I do?
I don't want anyone to see this, not even you.
How do I get out of this?
How do I stop this misery? How do solve this mystery?
I am afraid to move on because I know I won't find anyone
to make me feel the way you do, 
The way you look at me, 
The way you call me baby, 
The sound of your voice when you tell me that you care.I love you so much I think I'm going to die from this pain that haunts me night and day. How can forget you? When the only love I've known is you.How can I move on? If life is not the same without you?

She Won't Cry

You see the pain that lies in her eyes.
But her eyes are dry,
She won't cry

You see the anger that burns from her gaze
The sadness that sets her eyes ablaze
She won't cry

You see the fear that closes her eyes
The smile she wears is a disguise
She won't cry

You see the hope that is finally dead
She can't trust for her heart is bled
She won't cry

You see the love that lies within
But will she ever love again
She won't cry......No! She won't cry

You see death's hand that has glazed her eyes
No one saw her die inside.

They won't cry.....No! They won't cry.

Such Is Life

I'll be the first to admit, that when left unattended, my mind will venture into forbidden territory. I generally catch myself before wandering too far, but there are times when the attraction to the uncharted adventure reels me in like Lewis and Clark.

There was a time in my life when I preferred predictable exploration. That is, having some element of risk, but having a good idea of the out come. But, I've come to find that there is more excitement in simply allowing things to follow an unscripted course. 

Relationships can be that way. There could always be some risk involved. We would all like to experience the exciting emotional rush of new love, knowing that there will be a fairy tale ending, and that everyone lives happily ever after. But, in reality, there is always the risk of the unknown. Even with the best planned journey, there are unknown factors that could, at any point along the way, cause a detour. 

Sometimes, we just have to throw caution to the wind and, like the NIKE slogan says, just go for it. The experience alone can greatly outweigh any risk of the adventure. I've found that new adventures can awaken you to a much different world. Sure, there is that element of the unknown, but we can enjoy the ride, and make necessary adjustment when needed

The Blame Game

          I was talking to a friend not long ago and it was the same thing I have heard a million times from her, "If it wasn't for so and so or such and such I would be happy".  And as she continued to rant and rave all I could think was.
        She is clueless! Completely and utterly clueless! She does something; it goes haywire and then she looks around for some scapegoat to blame it on! Just for being there! Well, tough luck Bozo... Your own mistakes were your own undoing! I couldn't have been more successful in ruining it if I tried!
      Did I say this out loud to her?  Of course not, I am just not that kind of person. What I did tell her though was that being angry and blaming everyone else because you're unhappy is not going to help matters and it is just wasted energy. The choices you have made have led you to this spot and it can't be blamed on anyone but yourself. Well needless to say she was not in the frame of mind to think reasonably but whatcha gonna do. *shrugs*
       I learned a long time ago that you can't rely on anyone else to pick you up and fix whatever it is that is wrong or troubling you. That is your responsibility.

   "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer